I think Ive had 3 or 4 people ask me when I am going to update my blog. I try to do at least once a week but it's rough going right now. But, after tonight, I think I'm ready to get back on the blog wagon.
In church yesterday I was kneeling for Prayers for the People and I kept hearing something clank against the pew. It was a page holder ribbon charm in my Book of Common Prayer. I looked at it (something I do often). One side has a cross and the other says, "For such a time as this..." The quote is from Esther 4:14. Basically saying that if Esther chooses to sit idly by and say nothing to help the Jews that they would still receive deliverance somehow and she would be culpable for doing nothing to help them attain that deliverance.
The past few weeks havent been easy. Between the closure and then the domestic adoption falling through, we were already upset. Then today I got home and I read on a thread that there was "rumor" that families with dossiers submitted by June 30th would be grandfathered in and receive priority status for the reopening pushing everyone else back a month. I was upset (if you know me personally you know that's a vast understatement.) So, I grumped around and was frustrated for most of the night. But then whenever you think things are horrible and think you've hit a wall God still wins. (I love that!) I decided to take a nap and I woke up to 4 emails that I needed to read tonight.
1) From a stranger (my favorite emails so far have come this way) who prays and donates to RR. She has been following Sterling for a long time and hunted me down (not hard to do my email is on this blog) and sent me the kindest, sweetest, most heartfelt email I've gotten yet. To sum it up, she's been following Sterling, praying for him to find a family, and always wanted to adopt him. She too has a son with DS and she offered some words I REALLY needed to hear tonight. Mainly that this is supposed to happen and Sterling will come home. Just a reminder that road blocks are temporary. But, it was perfect for tonight. Thanks Elisha!
2) From Anna Woods (adopting Blake). Because of my grumpy mood I skipped RR Family Chat tonight. The last few weeks its been a lot of stress and people worrying and I didnt need anymore of that. Also, the families who were in the process of adopting kids who are no longer on "the list" need more attention than me right now so I figured I would abstain. My woes are nothing like theirs. Well, Anna emails me. Apparently in chat tonight was the discussion that the "closure" MUST be over within 3 months (by law!) so by October 11 the new department has to be up and running. (Insert sigh of relief here). I take this to mean they are trying to open even faster which means I might still have my little man home by Thanksgiving! PRAY for this please! (That week is my birthday 11/20, our anniversary 11/23 and Thanksgiving Day 11/24) If we arent home by then please PRAY that he will be ours by then! Thanks for the good news Anna!
3) From the NDSAN an update on the domestic adoption we were interested in. Birth parents have begun to look through profiles (ours is not included - for those of you who know the story not a surprise. If you dont know the story its loooong but amounts to agency issues). The birth parents told Robin that if there wasnt a match then they would ask her for our letter and our pictures. So, either way Baby Boy goes to a good home. A home his parents think is best for him. If it isnt us, so be it. Im still irritated at the situation and Im still unhappy with the way everything went down and I desperately wish our profile was in there, but there isnt anything we can do about that. What we can do is continue to pray that Baby finds a family who wants him and who will love him. Robin also sent a reminder, don't worry to much and dont get discouraged. Thanks Robin!
4) From M. Zoro saying that during closures and changes rumors always fly! To just sit back, finish the dossier and be ready to go when they reopen. Dont let people get you down and dont fret the things we know nothing about yet. She too sent a gentle reminder that at the end of this chaos and hassle is our son. Regardless of how long it takes. I needed this one too. So, thanks Michelle!
So, I wake up from a nap to those 4 emails. All good news in some way and all desperately needed. For those of you currently on this ride with me, it certainly isnt the easiest thing Ive done and I hope it gets better for us. My heart strings have been tugged and pulled in so many directions the past month I'm not sure how people don't lose their minds during this process. I also want to thank Kim B. Kim is LOCAL and adopted from RR last fall. She has been so helpful with information and giving me lots of good advice and encouragement (I also got THAT email today!)
So, its like God knew that today was the day I needed every little bit of encouragement and help I could get. And, I am very thankful for all those kind words and emails today. Thanks for sharing your information and your encouragment with me. And thanks for being like Esther - and not staying silent!