10 People in 10 Days: Day One - Nichole Comeaux

Wednesday, October 5, 2011
10 People in 10 Days
Nichole Comeaux

I’m going to be doing something a little different with the blog during the 10 day wait. Let me explain how the 10 day wait works in this country. After your court decision approves your adoption request the decision does not become legal until the 11^th day after the decision is made. This gives the biological family 10 days to lay claim to their child and forfeit the adoption. Sterling’s parents have already signed away their rights, but his extended family could still stop the adoption if they wish to do so. Our ten day wait ends on Friday, October 14^th. Normally your court resolution would be on the 11^th day; however, since our 11^th day is a Saturday, our court resolution will be on Tuesday, October 18^th. Government offices are not open in this region on Mondays. So, we are at least 2 weeks away from taking Sterling out of the institution. During those two weeks we will be visiting only every other day (and not on weekends.)

Now to explain the blog for the next 10 days. Our visits with Sterling are almost always the same. We will still post pictures and I will caption them directly instead of writing a long blog about the visit (mainly because it is the same old stuff and it is getting monotonous!) So, during the 10 day wait I am going to be doing something different. Something I’ve never seen on another blog. I REALLY believe in giving credit where credit is due. This adoption took the work of A LOT of people. Many, many people helped us financially, emotionally and mentally. During the next 10 days I am going to write about one person (or one group of people) who helped to make this adoption happen.  They offered us different types of support but together the 10 of them made this adoption a reality.  I will be sharing who they are, their stories and explaining how they helped.  I will be going in the order they were instrumental CHRONOLOGIALLY (except for the last one – who really was the driving force and the one who made it all happen!)  So the first person is the one who was instrumental with the start-up and the last people are the people who were there as we were finalizing. If you aren’t listed it doesn’t mean you didn’t help! These are the most influential/key figures in the adoption – I hope by sharing these stories you understand how instrumental they were  in our adoption process.

I know I’ve already made a lot of people cry – but honestly, this part of the blog isn’t going to help. I’m not normally one for spilling my heart (or for that matter openly sharing my feelings at all) but I think it is super important to highlight that an adoption is more than just parents gaining legal consent to parent a child. It really does take a lot of people to make an adoption happen. I am genuinely grateful to everyone who helped us in any way.

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Nichole Comeaux

The elementary school I worked at is a brand new school. We opened in the 2009-2010 school year. Our school (at the time) was somewhat taking a different approach to providing services to children with special needs. At the time, we were offering no pull out services and our school had one teacher at each grade level whom was certified to teach in an Exceptional Student Education (ESE) classroom. I was teaching in our 5^th grade ESE inclusion class. Of my 21 students 11 of them had IEPs. It was a great plan. The only problem was, with all of the curriculum we were supposed to be teaching it was hard to find time to work small groups and hit IEP goals all in one day.  As a result of this, in October, our principal decided to hire an ESE teacher that could come into each ESE room and co-teach with us. That person was Nichole. Once she started Nichole and I became fast friends – something that has never been easy for me. She looked past all of my faults and took out the brick wall I keep up to keep people at bay with ease. We have been amazing friends ever since and we are often seen together outside of school (even though she left our school this year and made it relatively impossible to hang out after school! J ) Since that first meeting, Nichole and I have become very close and I have thoroughly enjoyed becoming “part of the family” (as has Brian.)

About 2 weeks into her tenure at our school Nichole told me she was pregnant. At the time, that came as quite a sting because it was right in the middle of Brian’s and my infertility nightmare. But the sting didn’t last long and I was super excited to be a part of this new baby’s life. There are lots of little things I remember about that whole process (including eating jelly beans in my room after school with Nichole while discussing ESE strategies!) Around November, I asked nonchalantly how everything was going after Nichole had been for a prenatal visit with the OB. It was then that Nichole shared that the baby (we had learned by this point it was a girl) was showing soft markers for having Down Syndrome. She and Scott had previously decided to not have any testing done, in part due to their religious beliefs and in part because testing would only put the baby at harm and they were keeping her regardless. It was a really emotional time. Nichole help up incredibly well and never really showed her emotions at school, although later she shared that she had been hiding a lot of emotions during that time period. She saw several specialists and while none of them would say definitively that the baby did not have Down Syndrome without testing – that became the overriding thought . Despite all of the reassurances from the doctors there was still some fear when the baby’s due date approached.

Well, Aurora Simone Comeaux graced us with her presence a few days early and as you can see she was not born with an extra chromosome. (Probably not what you were expecting on this blog. LOL)

Aurora joined older brother Clayton and older sister Audrey on May 30^th, 2010.

Having an ESE background I have known a lot of children and families with Down Syndrome but I had never known anyone personally who had gone through a Down Syndrome (or possible Down Syndrome) pregnancy. It was a very emotional time and quite honestly one that made our decision to adopt Sterling even easier.

Throughout the whole pregnancy Nichole and I had many discussions about the baby, about Down Syndrome, about religion (she was instrumental – along with some other friends – in us going back to church) and about raising children.  Nichole spoke openly about her religion and how it was hard to believe that most (92%) of pregnancies of a child with Down Syndrome are terminated. We talked a lot.

Well, Aurora was born at JUST THE PERFECT time in the school year. Nichole would be able to return to school in August and we decided to take on a new challenge together. You see, our school was adding two ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorders)/IND (Intellectual Disabilities) units the following year. Nichole and I signed up to take on those positions.

The beginning of the year was horrible (and not because of the kids) but that is a whole year’s worth of blogs on its own. In short we had some staffing issues (read “nightmares”) and Brian and I were in the throes of infertility treatment (waste of money) so I was an emotional wreck for the first half of the year. But, Nichole was there for all of it. In October (of 2010) Brian and I decided to stop all infertility treatments. My stress level was through the roof (not conducive to conception) and the infertility drugs were really making me fun to be around (NOT!).  It was during this break from fertility treatments that the idea of adoption first came up. Up until this point I was not IN ANY WAY interested in adoption. I wanted MY OWN kid. MY flesh and blood. Let me tell you something, that feeling lasted about 6 months. By October I was exploring the possibility of adoption.

I’m a researcher by nature. I need facts. It’s just the way I work. If numbers are involved – well even better! So in October I commenced my 3 months of research on adoption. By Christmas, Brian and I were toying with the idea. Of course, I ran it past Nichole. Who was more than supportive – but she told us not to count ourselves out just yet.  Regardless, Brian and I set ourselves up to complete our Homestudy since we were leaning toward adoption. That way, if we found a child we would be ready to go.  (I find it interesting that December is when we started going to church again too – but that’s another story.)

I think I first stumbled upon Reece’s Rainbow in late January of 2011 (hard to believe that was only 10 months ago!) I was researching adoption and linked from another link (you know how that goes) to get there. I was taken by the pictures of all these children, without families, simply because of an extra chromosome (or in some cases an HIV diagnosis.) I didn’t share the site with anyone. Not even Nichole. I would lie in bed at night (after Brian went to sleep) and look at those faces.  HUNDREDS of motherless children. It was heart wrenching and I cried myself to sleep on more than one occasion.

It was funny though – I kept returning to one face:

In late February I shared the site with Brian – who went into immediate shock. He was not so keen on the idea of a special needs adoption. (Little did he know – he is so IN LOVE with Sterling now!)  Lots of RR families will tell you this is how it went down in their homes too. Brian and I talked A LOT during that time period and slowly with the help of facts and research (and tomorrow’s family!) he began to accept the idea.  Of course, then he fell in love with Sterling during the prep phase and he will advocate until the day he dies for these children and for Reece’s Rainbow.

Back to Nichole.

Once I turned Brian, I eventually shared the site with her. Her faith, along with her teaching background and the fact that she is a mother led her to be as taken by these children as I was.  For me, Reece’s Rainbow became a daily obsession: which child had found a family, which child had been added to the photolistings, which child had been transferred and even (on occasion) which child had died. I’m sure Nichole heard more than she ever wanted to know about those children (and about Reece’s Rainbow) but she never showed it. It’s interesting how a friendship works.  The year before it had been her dealing with life while I offered support; then the tides changed and it was reversed. It’s all a very cool system of give and take that, as humans, we fail to recognize a lot of times.

Well, come about May, Nichole said to me something to the effect of, “If you are so passionate about it – do something about it.” In hindsight, I think that is all I really wanted. Or needed might be a better way to put it. I needed to hear someone say that it was OK that we WANTED a child with Down Syndrome. Nichole gave us that - the piece of mind that we weren’t adopting Sterling’s Down Syndrome that we were adopting Sterling. That underneath all of the labels that RR had for him was just a little boy who desperately needed a family. (Ironically we were just a family that desperately wanted a little boy.)

It is safe to say that without Nichole’s approval we wouldn’t be here. She was the first person we told and by far (as we told more people) the MOST supportive. We had other friends who weren’t so excited for us in the beginning (all of them are now of course) but so many people showed shock and surprise (and even disapproval) that, without Nichole as our ROCK, we would not have our son.

So, THANKS NICHOLE!

We LOVE you!

PICTURES FROM TODAY!

Sterling babbles. In the beginning of our visits he didn't make a sound. Now he babbles incessantly. A lot of nothing but very cute. He also makes these gutteral sounds and groans. I'm sure they are noises he makes to keep himself occupied in the institution. HOWEVER - Brian and I are SURE he said his first word today. My mother and my sister will be thrilled. Why? Because the word was "book." He used it Monday too (we didn't say anything because we wanted to see it again.) We took the book out he pointed at it (he points with his thumb) and said, "bk". So frigging cute. With some therapy he will be talking soon. He also sometimes gets so excited during snack that he will SCREAM what sounds like "Da" if we hold up some food. Da means yes. So we are pretty sure there is more there than the institution has any inkling of. We can't wait to get him out of there! I will try to catch him saying book on Friday.

We brought a new toy today!  This giraffe was a gift from our friend Kimber. It makes soothing noises. Giant hit! He LOVES this thing...

We tried on clothes today. 3T jeans...WAY TOO BIG! And yes, he is wearing a diaper here. He has no rear end and no belly to hold anything up (good thing we bought a belt.)

Those jeans are just a tad long...LOL. The sweater is 2T and fits nicely! Thanks Clayton (and Nichole) for the hand me downs!

This boy loves his snacks.

Is it that obvious?

LOL

He prefers to sit backwards in any chair (or on any bench) we put him in.

I love this smile. It melts my heart.

See this cowlick in his hair that pushes his hair to the right side of his body? Yea - Brian has the same one - in the same spot and it does the same thing. :)

Giggle Mania

He is so darn handsome!

This jacket (believe it or not) is a 5/6. It swallows him but at least we know it will fit him for a while! And can I say that he looks SO HANDSOME in real clothes and out of those orphanage duds???

ONE LESS ORPHAN!!

Tuesday, October 04, 2011
One Less Orphan               

 No I am NOT wearing socks with my shoes. My feet were that white. The building was unheated and freezing.

As any international adoptive parent will tell you there are 4 days we live for. In order they are: meeting your child, court day, gotcha day and landing back home.

Well, we are officially half way there. The judge and two person jury “approved” our “request” to adopt our son and around 17:00 our time Sterling Patrick Hinz officially joined the family. Praise God!

We were so very nervous about court today. No one had ever adopted from the town/village that the mental institution is located in. No Reece’s Rainbow family had ever adopted from this region. Because of this, we had no inkling of what to expect and no one to give us any insight. Talk about pioneering!

But, all the worry was for nothing.

Tatyana and Alexei picked us up from our apartment around 13:35 and we headed to the institution. We got there around 14:15.  Sterling was taking a nap so we didn’t get to see him. The three of us went into the director’s office and Tatyana and the director got LOTS of paperwork together. Every now and then Tatyana would stop and tell us what they were doing saying, “This paperwork is for his passport” or “This is so we can close out his bank account.” After some discussion the paperwork was done and Tatyana asked the director to make copies of some needed documents. Before the director left the room she “accidentally” left out some files. So hopefully, we should 6 or 7 boys listed from Sterling’s institution soon. And I’ll warn you now, some of them are pretty darn cute.

Once all the paperwork was done, the three of us piled into Alexei’s car and headed off to the courthouse. When we got there we checked in (gave them our passports for recording our numbers) and headed upstairs. The courthouse was nothing like the courthouses back home. No metal detectors and they didn’t even check our bags.

We waited in the hallway upstairs for about 30 minutes while Tatyana, the director of the institution and the Director of Children’s Services typed up our “recommendation” from the DCS and the orphanage. Then we all headed to the courtroom.

Again, nothing like a courtroom at home. We (Tatyana, Brian and I) sat on a bench in front of the judge. A podium was between us though so it was hard to see her the whole time. We stood up when the judge came in and then we sat down. The judge was making jokes and seemed very amiable which helped us to relax a bit. She talked and then she asked Brian to stand up, recite his name, DOB, address and describe his profession. He did so. Then it was my turn to do the same.  To respond we just stood up right where we were and responded while Tatyana translated.

Then the judge read some more and asked Brian to stand up and the questions started. Let’s just say my talks last night with Meredith Cornish and Amy Hinz paid off. Luckily, Brian got asked the questions we had “studied” for.  These were his questions:

1)    Why do you want to adopt a child, why one with special needs and why one from Ukraine? (Brian answered the first part but not the second - we will come back to that.)

a.     He explained our infertility issues, the decision to adopt, the research done on Down Syndrome, the decision making process, he explained our teaching backgrounds, how this led us to feel that we could successfully adopt a child with special needs and he explained the resources we would have when we got home to help us with Sterling. (For someone who HATES public speaking he did fairly well…although afterwards he told me he was shaking the whole time.)

2)    Do you have health insurance? Will the child be covered? Will he receive therapies?

a.     Brian explained that an adoption is considered a birth. That as teachers we have medical insurance and that Sterling would be covered under our policies. He also explained that therapies would be covered not only by medical insurance but also at school.

3)    Is raising a child with Down Syndrome harder or different from raising a child without Down Syndrome? Would the government provide any services, money or assistance?

a.     Brian said yes it is different but that doesn’t mean “worse.” He explained that you learn to take life at a slower pace, that you are required to be more flexible and have more patience. He again explained all of the resources and services that would be available to Sterling and he explained that while we make too much to qualify for SSI Sterling would get benefits when he got older and he  would have access to government assistance if needed.

4)    What will Sterling’s life be like when he is over 18?

a.     Brian hit the ball out of the park and started by saying that kids with Down Syndrome in US have the ability to go to college (dependent on the child of course) and that immediately got raised eyebrows. LOL. He explained that he would have the ability to get a job, live on his own, and function as a typical member of society in the US. They were blown away by all of this…but it is the truth.

That was it. That was all she asked him. Then it was my turn. I got questions we HADN’T studied for. And honestly it was better that way. I stood up and I was asked:

1)    Why are you adopting a child with special needs from Ukraine? (Yea you thought she forgot didn’t you…ha!)

a.     I explained that we originally were on the domestic Down Syndrome adoption wait list. I told the court that the wait list was VERY long (probably the wait right now is just at or slightly over a year…) and after 5 months we decided to look into international adoption. I explained that we knew people who had adopted from Ukraine and that we knew people who had adopted multiple times and had positive experiences. I left it at that.

2)     You have a sister that has 4 children (so they DO read the dossier!) what does your sister think about your adoption? What do her children think? What do your families think?

a.     Ok blindsided. I told her that our families had been very supportive. That everyone was very excited for us because they knew that we were excited to bring him home. I explained that my nieces and nephews were happy to be getting a cousin (finally!) and that we had received nothing but positive responses from our families.

3)    The judge told me I was young (in the year I turn 30! Hooray!). She asked what would happen if we ended up having our own biological children.

a.     I said “Nothing would change. Sterling would still be our son.” That’s it.

The end. That was the end of the questioning. She read a bunch more from his history and our dossier (boring and incomprehensible to us anyway). Highlights from that reading:

1)    Sterling was given up at birth and had been in the orphanage from birth.

2)    Sterling had never had any visitors, any communication or any association or interest with his family since being given up.

3)    Sterling has Down Syndrome (surprise!?) and “crossed eyes.”

4)    Sterling needs therapies (surprise!?)

Then she asked Brian to stand up and make his request, “I am requesting to become the parent of Sterling Patrick Hinz” and then for me to do the same. Then she recessed and she (the judge) left with the jury (2 people) and the prosecutor (who MIGHT have been 21…on a good day.)

After they left we were left in the courtroom with the director of the institution, the director of DCS and Tatyana. We shared our photo book with them and talked a lot. Mainly about opportunities for kids with DS in America. They asked if Sterling would ever talk (seriously) if he would ever function on his own and if we really thought we could help him. They were so amazed at the answers we gave them. We talked about therapies, about schools, I touted Emily DeAngelo’s Gold Medal victory in the Special Olympics (that shocked them), the ogled over our house and the fact that we had two “machinas” in the driveway. (Unheard of!) And then we continued to offer facts and information about DS here in the US and blew them away. That was fun!

About 10-15 minutes later the judge came in. (She was honestly very nice.) Tatyana asked if she wanted to see the photo book, which she did – so we went over it again and again we explained all of the above. The judge had lots of questions for us: Do we travel a lot? (lol lots of cruise pictures in the book) How old is my grandma? (92) How old are the nieces and nephews? Tell me about your house. And so on. Just easy stuff she thought of while looking at pictures. She remarked multiple times that Brian and I are “skinny” (did I mention I liked her?) and that we have a “good looking family.”  Before she handed the book back she asked what we thought of Ukraine and Ukrainian people - which we answered honestly but nicely. (S*** is a beautiful city it is convenient to able to walk everywhere. I explained our nearest market was 2 miles from home and she gasped! LOL. I told her the Ukrainian people were very nice (aside from the yeller in the stairwell.)

The thing they found MOST interesting about our photo book is that we have a turtle for a pet. They just could not get over that! LOL. I explained that Tiki used to live in my classroom but the kids were not nice to her so she had to move into the house. Which got lots of giggles. She was also amazed at how much “you people smile a lot.”

Then we sat back down. She read some more. She then declared us the parents of Sterling Patrick Hinz and told us our ten days starts tomorrow and his name would be legally changed and we would be listed as his parents. His date of birth (8/8/06) and place of birth (S***) would remain unchanged.

And that was that! We are now the proud parents of a 5 year old! Lots of pictures tomorrow. We got permission to bring clothes for trying on! <3

ONE LESS ORPHAN IN THE WORLD TODAY! God is Great! <3

Stuck in the rut!

October 3, 2011
Blogs Do Get Old…Tomorrow will be our change of pace!

 It’s hard to write a blog when the same things happen every day. But I still feel the need to share this grin with all of you!

The only thing that happened differently today was that we got REAMED OUT by some lady in our apartment hallway. In Russian. We have no idea what we did (or failed to do?) but she blocked the stairwell and wouldn’t let us down to Alexei. Brian finally called Tatyana who talked to the lady – to no avail. When Brian asked Tatyana what the lady was so upset about – Tatyana said not to worry about it and that she would call the landlady. So, we are assuming it has nothing to do with us. Still being yelled at in Russian by a lady in her bathrobe while the yelling reverberates in the stairwell is certainly a way to wake up. And it isn’t a pleasant one either.

We finally made it down to Alexei (15 minutes later) and were on our way.  Tatyana told Alexei why we were late so he wouldn’t think we were tardy for no reason.

Because we started late, we arrived at the institution late. They must have rushed in bringing Sterling to us because about 10 minutes into our visit he wet himself. L He is most certainly NOT potty trained. I walked him to the director’s office and showed her his wet behind and she walked him to the nurses’ station. One of nurses took him upstairs, cleaned him off and put him in a diaper. Much better choice. We are fine with him NOT being potty trained – we weren’t expecting him to be. We were also not expecting to be given misinformation  – during our first meeting we were told he was potty trained – but this is not the first time he has wet himself with us. It’s just the first time I’m mentioning it. I’d rather they just put him in a diaper (no pull ups in this country) so that we can enjoy our visit without having to return him to them for a 15 minute clean up. :/

So between being late and the clean up – we only got to spend about 45 minutes with our little man. He is still CUTE AS EVER! His attention span is increasing (slowly but it is increasing). He sat with me twice today and read/looked at books. That is a huge improvement. He still wants to chew on them – so I have to hold him with one hand and page turn with the other. We still played with the slinky and the bumble ball but I can tell he is losing interest. Time to bring new toys!

We also supermanned today. I laid down on the floor and put him on my shins and lifted him up and down. That got big smiles but we didn’t get pictures or video. BOO! He wasn’t super snuggly today either. That is probably our fault – we didn’t go to see him at all this weekend. The institution runs on a skeleton crew on the weekends and it wasn’t easy for them to accommodate us when we went last Saturday.  He did let us hold him and when I put my arms down he will put his up to be picked up (which makes me happy!) So, he let us hold him and he sit with us – he just wasn’t as snuggly as usual.

Tomorrow is the big day! We have court at 1600 local time which is 9 am EST.  PLEASE PRAY for us. Neither of us really loves speaking publicly in front of adults and we will have to speak and answer questions. We know NO DETAILS of what to expect other than people’s stories from their court hearings. PLEASE PRAY for peace of mind, for the judge to understand our call to adopt our little man and for a smooth and easy process. Hopefully by tomorrow afternoon I will be telling you that Sterling is ours!

After court we have a mandatory 10 day wait – it will not be waived (unless a miracle happens). During that time, Sterling’s family can decide that they want him back and they don’t want him to be adopted. It’s a long 10 days. During these 10 days I will be doing a special blog (yes I will continue to post pictures of Sterling!). I will be doing a “10 people in 10 days” blog. I will be recognizing 10 people that have been critical (in different ways!) to our adoption process. It’s our way of saying thanks!

We have been in the country 17 days today – that should be our halfway point! Thanks for all of your prayers so far! Hopefully tomorrow goes off without a hitch! <3

You can really see how tiny he is in this picture. I didn't even notice until now. For those of you who may have forgotten because he is so little he is 5! (And yes we have seen the birth certificate!)

Hold with one hand - page turn with one hand!

The Much Anticipated Food Blog!

Sunday, October 2, 2011
The Much Anticipated Food Blog

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked what we are eating over here. It’s probably because people know I am one picky eater. Seriously. At home there are very few restaurants I will eat meat from and I will only eat salad from 3 or 4 restaurants.  I’ve had one too many cases of food poisoning than I care to experience again and since being super cautious I rarely get sick from food anymore. So, it stands to reason that my friends are asking about food because they know I am really picky when it comes down to it.

The first week we arrived in this city (from the Capitol) Brian and I ate McDonald’s every day. If you know me, you know I don’t eat stuff like that at home. But it was familiar and convenient. Well, one’s stomach can only take so much McDonald’s before you never want to see another one and I reached that point pretty quickly.

When we were delivered to our apartment we were told “the” market is across the street. Well “that” market is very small. It sells not very much and the meat department was questionable at best. So, McDonald’s seemed like the better choice. Then you hit this feeling that – if you don’t eat “real” food you might shrivel up and die. My body was craving nutrients – specifically fruits and vegetables. I knew from reading the blogs of other families that have been over here that there is a supermarket chain called Billa (they actually have stores located in 10 different European countries.) As result of my nutrient deprivation, I Googled Billa and prayed there would be one in our city. And there was. The next day Brian and I set out to find it; and, we failed. On Wednesday, we called our driver and asked him to drive us there so we would know the way. When we got there it was like finding an oasis in the middle of the desert (okay probably not THAT good but it was close.) Aside from the European atmosphere and set up – it is just like a Publix. We bought a few days worth of groceries and headed back.

This is the market across the street from our apartment.

On an outing to the mall the other day we discovered a THIRD market – underneath the mall. From the outside it looked big and clean and Billa-like and we vowed to go back when we didn’t have any bags with us (ALL stores here have lockers – you put any bags you are carrying into the lockers and take the key with you as you shop. However, at this market they have a bag check instead of lockers.)

Yes, there is a supermarket under this mall...

Today was the day we went back to the EkoMarket. It was okay. We found a lot of stuff that Billa had but the meat department was as sketchy as the market next to us and the bakery didn’t have the bread we know we like. We did some shopping there and then dropped off our purchases at “home” and headed to walk to Billa. That walk took us about 20 minutes. Not horrible – despite the fact that it was cold and windy and neither of us had brought our jackets.

We arrived at Billa – put our shopping bags into a locker (you bring your own bags or they charge you) and finished our shopping for the week. That’s right. We won’t need to go back to the market for a week! YAY! We will need water for sure – but we won’t need to shop for a week. And, we can now enjoy the advantages of cooking at “home.” On a side note: Brian and I fell in LOVE with this pizza place in the Capitol called Celentano’s Pizza. Well, on our way back from Billa today we stumbled across one!!! We are thrilled to find one in our city! We have made a plan to go there on Sundays. We can get a pizza for about $5 – and it is a real pizza not like a nasty Domino’s $5 pizza. So yummy and so cheap!

Brian got a beer at Celentano's. 0.5 Litres for what amounts to $1.38.

Brian loves Celentano's!

Here are a few of things we have eaten for dinner since we discovered the good market and have ditched McDonald’s.

French Toast (they don’t sell syrup here so we had to eat it with Strawberry Jelly)

Omelets
Potato Soup
Grilled Cheese/Grilled Ham and Cheese
Pasta with Olive Oil, Garlic, Tomatoes, Onions and Chicken (yum)
Ramen (sometimes you just don’t feel like cooking)
Pasta with Red Sauce (Brian ate this – I won’t touch the red sauce here. It’s weird…)
Hawaiian Rice with Sauteed Chicken Breasts

That’s a sampling. I bought stuff to make homemade Chicken Noodle Soup this week (as homemade as I can get here…) and I made potato soup tonight. I tried to make banana bread but we can’t figure out the oven so that was a fail. L

The potato soup I made for dinner (I can't figure out how to rotate the picture...)

I’ve also been asked how the meat and produce are. The answer is FRESH. Another answer is dirty. The potatoes I bought for the soup hadn’t been cleaned at all. They were still covered in dirt from the farm (don’t worry they got scrubbed really well before being diced and boiled).

The carrots are black also. Anything that comes from the ground needs a good scrubbing. The tomatoes are amazing – all are vine ripe. The produce here is very inexpensive (see prior blog for prices.) Shopping here is…different.

The produce section looks the same as it does at your store but instead of putting it in a bag and throwing it in your cart for the cashier to ring up – you ring it up on your own. That varies by store. Some stores (the EkoMart for example) have a lady who stands and weighs everything and then puts a sticker on it with the price and amount. Other stores (like Billa) you do all of this yourself. At Billa they have touchscreen computers that do this. You walk up to the computer, put your bag of produce on the scale, find the corresponding number (potatoes are 58) and touch the number. The computer then spits out the sticker and you stick it on your bag. It is very efficient and saves lots of time at the checkout stand because the lady only has to check the label (to make sure it is what you say it is) and scan it.

Other things are sold in a similar fashion – from bulk barrels. Flour, sugar, couscous, rice, grains, some cookies, pretzels, snack foods, raisins, dried fruit and nuts are all examples of this.

My favorite foods here so far: the yogurt and the kefir, jelly filled croissants, the juice, the seashell cookies

Brian's favorite foods here so far: the ham, Celentano's pizza (hey it's what he said!), the fresh bread, the pretzels sold in bulk

 Some interesting things about the markets here:

 They have rows upon rows of liquor (seriously...everyone here drinks and smokes...)

They have rows upon rows of chocolate and candies

The bakery really is a bakery – buying premade and prepackaged bread is unheard of (although the bread Brian and I like is indeed prepackaged)

They have fish tanks in the stores where you can choose your own fish from the tank

At Billa they have a keg in the middle of the store and a beer lady that will bottle it for you straight from the keg (I so should have gotten a picture of this – it is quite odd)

You bring your own bags or you pay (instead of if you bring your bags you get money off)

Markets don’t sell toiletries (some have an attached section that does but they don’t sell toiletries in the market itself.)

The drinks here are made with REAL sugar and NOT corn syrup. That means that coke, juice and tea all taste better! YUM! (Jelly/Jam too! Real sugar not corn syrup!)

Just because a brand is familiar to you doesn’t mean it tastes the same (For example: the ketchup at McDonald’s is Heinz but tastes different. The Nesquick chocolate milk isn’t milk – its chocolate water – think YooHoo!)

Sour cream and milk are not the sour cream and milk you are used to. Trust me on that one.

They have a candy for everything...see the Starbursts we bought today to bring home to people! (Mojito, Banana-Milk, Tropical Sunrise and Cherry Cola Starbursts all in one package...odd!)

I’m sure I’ll think of other eccentricities later but that is it for now. If you have any questions about the markets or the food just ask!

Deep Thought Provoking Reflections on a Saturday Morning

Saturday, October 1, 2011 Reflections

As of today we have been in this country for 2 weeks. It’s unbelievable really. In a lot of ways, it doesn’t feel like 2 weeks. But, in others, it feels like longer. I miss home. I miss my dogs. I miss my life. While we are getting into our routine here, it is still overwhelming to leave the apartment and head out into the city. A huge part of that is the fact that we don’t speak Russian. You really take for granted the way you live when you are at home on familiar ground.

At home if I need to buy Sterling a pair of shoes, I can run to Target and buy a pair of shoes. If his size isn’t out on display, I can ask someone to check in the back. If they don’t have his size in the store, I can ask them to call another local store. None of that is possible here.  It just doesn’t work like that. We have one “mall” near us. It’s not a mall like we think of a mall. It’s more of an indoor flea market. I guess that’s the best way to explain the layout. They sell everything. Or nearly everything. But being able to communicate is key when trying to purchase things and that is an area we are most certainly lacking in. Yes, I ‘studied’ Russian before I left; but, a 3 week crash course on the basics certainly hasn’t helped me to communicate what size pair of shoes I want to buy for my son or which kind of ham I want at the market and whether I want it sliced thin or thick. It’s really been a bit of culture shock.

If you are like most Americans (if you are even American) you probably haven’t done loads of overseas/international travel. Our country is SO BIG. This country is the size of Texas. That really puts things in perspective. I’m less than 10 miles from the Russian border. At home (and I live in Florida) the closest I can get to another country is 90 miles (to Cuba). So, it won’t come as a surprise to you to hear me say that this is the biggest thing I’ve ever done. I’ve read that phrase on other blogs. Many times. Most of the time, I’ve read over it without really thinking about it. But, now I’m living it, and even typing it doesn’t do it justice.

This is, by far, the biggest thing I have ever done. I’m not even talking about the adoption part specifically. Just the whole process. Huge. I don’t know how else to describe it and there was certainly no preparing for this feeling. If you are getting ready to travel (Anna Woods – Jessica Whiteaker) be ready to have this feeling hit you like a ton of bricks. It’s not fear and it isn’t stress. It’s just a feeling of WOW. We forget how small we really are until we are forced to put ourselves out there; and, once you’re out there that feeling of helplessness (?) kind of takes over.

A LOT of people who read this blog know me personally. I am not helpless. Actually, I’m strong and stubborn to a fault. I take on challenges willingly and I’m pretty feisty. I can be downright blunt and honest when needed and I rarely take no for an answer (especially when I’m fighting for something I’m passionate about – just ask my coworkers).  But, I can also be very flexible. I’ve learned (with the help of good friends) to go with the flow more than I used to and, overtime, I’ve come to realize that I can’t control everything (even though that tendency is still there….) I’ve learned a lot about life from teaching, from good friends and from great teachers. But nothing has prepared me for this. It is an interesting journey. I’m SUPER HAPPY to be here and I am also VERY EXCITED to be adopting Sterling. I just wish I could help people, who either aren’t going to or haven’t yet taken this journey, to understand how small you feel while you are doing it. The only thing I can even remotely liken it to is being on a cruise. Brian and I are avid cruisers. I LOVE that feeling of being in the middle of the ocean and being reminded of how small I am and how the things I worry about at home are SO INSIGNIFICANT. This is very similar. Yet still different.

Brian and I have had the ability to see how LUCKY we are at home. This country is poor – yet not even close to being one of the poorest.  However, we are reminded every day that we are “rich Americans.” We laughed at this in the beginning – we are far from rich. We are both teachers, we have steady incomes, we have good benefits and we get by with a little extra to do some fun things. But over here, we ARE rich. We were told by our driver that the average teacher in this country makes $250/month. PER MONTH. If you include benefits and retirement I make almost that in a day. And I’ve only been teaching for 8 years.  If you include Brian’s coaching salary – he’s over that. (The caveat here is – since we are teachers – we only get paid for 10 months of the year.)  Another adoptive Mama told me that the workers at her child’s orphanage made only $60/month.  Imagine living on $60/month. Like I said, we are FAR FROM rich, but being here certainly makes me thankful for my blessings.

Everyday, we pass this little old babushka by the market. She may or may not be homeless. We don’t know. While passing her the other day, Brian saw her eating a fish. Scales on. Head on. Tail on. A whole fish. She sat on the side wall of the market, her fish wrapped in butcher paper, and ate a whole fish. Eye opening to say the least. When I was a freshman in college I took a class in Washington D.C. for 5 weeks during January term. (Elon is on a 4-1-4 schedule.) I remember buying a chicken sandwich and throwing it away because the chicken wasn’t cooked. I also vividly remember a homeless man digging my sandwich out of the trash and eating it. I thought that was bad – and it doesn’t even compare in my mind.  

I have lots of little stories like this. Things we see people do and eat and say that take us by surprise. I’m not going to lecture you on doing good or thinking of others. But I do want you to realize that you have it SO MUCH BETTER than MILLIONS of people on this earth.  I saw this picture posted on another adoptive Mama’s Facebook page today:

It really makes you stop and think. Trust me, I would wake up with lots of people and not so many things (which is ok) but it definitely makes me want to thank God for more of our blessings.  I think, in prayer, it’s easy to ask for things (like health or safety for example); but, it’s easy to forget to be thankful for things you do have.  Two weeks in (and roughly 3 more to go) I think that is the biggest lesson I have walked away with from this journey. That I am lucky and blessed to live the life I live. And I think it’s safe to say that that is the reason for this trip. I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Yes, Brian and I are meant to gain a son out of all of this; but I think we were also meant to realize that, in living our lives at home, we were being ever so complacent about bigger issues. 

If you get nothing out of this blog but a few things, please let them be these:

1)      Be thankful to God (or whomever you believe in) for the blessings you have in your life.

2)      Strive to be more world aware.

3)      Figure out how you can make a difference.

4)      Kill the complacency in your life.

5)      ACT.